8 Speed Dating Tips for Women
Speed dating tips for women have to be considered common sense in nature for the most part. There isn’t a straight man alive who doesn’t believe that being a woman gives women an instant advantage in the dating pool, and they are not incorrect in that statement. However, there is a reason why women do better than men at speed dating events, and it has nothing to do with the individual level of attractiveness or how rail-thin and big-breasted she might be. It has to do with a woman being able to read the man opposite her better than he can read her. So let’s look at eight speed dating tips for women that give them the edge.
1. Wear A Colourful Statement Piece
Speed dating tips for women number one is where most women will spend the majority of their time in the lead-up to the event and on the day. What to wear at speed dating? In a somewhat ironic fashion, this is entirely counterproductive as the majority of men couldn’t tell you what outfit or style she wore, only what colour it was. It could have been a scented garbage bag or a $15,000 bespoke Prada number. This is an important tip to remember. If you want to stand out and be memorable to the men you are speed dating, you need to go with a standout colour, a bold print or choose a focal item that lingers in your dates’ mind. This could be a cool watch or bracelet, an eye-catching bling necklace with matching earrings, or the style you wear your hair and the accessories you use to highlight the style.
Keep in mind that for the duration of the speed dating event, you will be seated behind a table, so while eight-inch stilettos might make your legs look like supermodel pins, your legs and feet will be hidden or obscured under the table. They won’t be a focal point of memorable note unless you kick him in the shins and claim it was an accident. In which case, you might leave a lasting and memorable impression, just not for the right reasons unless they are into that kind of kink.
Ultimately, make sure that whatever you choose to wear is loose enough to sit and stand easily, is comfortable to wear and makes you feel relaxed. There is nothing to be gained by wearing a skin-tight leopard print lycra number you can barely breathe in, and that cuts you in half all night. Leopard print is a seriously bad option for anyone to wear, period. It makes a statement about your objective. Unfortunately, any of the animal prints denote sexual promiscuity, not long-term commitment and are not suitable attire to wear to a speed dating event.
2. Plan Some Questions Ahead Of Time
Speed dating tips for women number two is that each date is set to a timer, and time moves fast when you have a handful of ready-to-rock, prepped and vetted questions of a factual or interesting nature to fire off if it looks like the crickets might start chirping, or your date isn’t upholding their end of the conversation. Gaps and lulls in conversation while you both try to think of something to say shows that you aren’t really giving the other person your full vested enthusiasm. It might be that you both lack chemistry and rub each other the wrong way, or it might be that he is totally into you and can’t stop to formulate intelligent conversations with you. Surprisingly, a lot of men who are seriously into women can give off the exact opposite vibe as they struggle to read the woman and gauge her interest in them. Some brutal one-liners and cutting remarks have left a besotted man’s mouth that insults their dates and leaves both parties wondering where the hell that evil little imp emerged from.
Show that you are there for a reason and go armed with pre-prepared questions or interesting facts that can bridge the gaps and void in conversation. Avoid anything taboo, political, religious, or sexual in nature. Ask open-ended questions that will give you a better insight into the person and what they are about.
Speed dating tips for women factoid that might interest you is this: Penguins were originally called Arse-feet. Don’t believe me, Google it for yourself and add to that first fact a second fact with the little grey grebe was also originally called Arse-foot. No wonder they changed their names!
3. Keep An Open Mind
Speed dating tips for women number three is that women have a reputation for being twice as fussy as men when it comes to meeting people at speed dating events. Being highly selective isn’t a bad thing when choosing someone to share your life with, but this is the first time you will meet people, and you need to remember that the chances of finding your forever person the first time you sit down with someone is astronomical.
Keep your options open. Try not to go with a specific look or type bias. Relax and see who you click with without any preconceptions. Most of all, remember that speed dating can introduce you to friends, not just a potential partner. If you approach each date and person with the objective of making a new friend, and the chemistry is mutual, then down the track, after a few more dates, you can then start to view them with the potential to enter a relationship. By that stage, you will work out if they are your type and if you have matching chemistry and compatibility.
4. Read Speed Dating Reviews For The Company From Several Sources
Speed dating tips for women number four is that Information online is easily accessible and can be a good guide as to what you might expect and how the majority of other people viewed their experience. You must keep in mind that personal experiences are subjective, and a few bad reviews are a part of life. If there were no bad reviews or unhappy clients, then the site is bogus and opting only to show you heavily biassed, if not blatantly fraudulent, reviews. Take things with a grain of salt but get the overall vibe from the majority of comments, not the number of stars given.
Also, take the time to leave your own review so others can get a feel from your experience. Explain why you feel the way you do and what prompted you to give the review and rating. Be honest but be constructive with your criticism. Give the organiser and the reader suggestions that could improve the experience for others. Change only happens with the need for change being pointed out constructively.
Check out the reviews on the individual organiser’s website and then go onto other forums like Reddit to get a broader, unedited version the company has no ability to sensor. That will give you a better idea as to whether this is a reputable and trustworthy company and what kind of clients it generates. If the company is only new and doesn’t have any or many reviews, then Google the MC and get a feel for their body of work and if you vibe with their style.
If you have two strikes before you book the ticket, then chances are your night is not going to be what you hoped it might be. The host or MC of the event makes a lot of difference to an event, to the point a bad MC can ruin the night, whereas a good one will see you coming back for their banter, even if you don’t click with any of the dates at your first or second or third speed dating event.
5. Ignore The Speed Dating Statistics
Speed dating tips for women number five is that one major advantage of speed dating is the guaranteed equal numbers of males and females. Typically, in life, there is more of one gender than the other in any setting, and that can be a disadvantage to the majority gender. With speed dating, fifty per cent of the room is automatically ruled out as they are the same gender, so the remaining stats are certainly in your favour to hopefully click with at least one person on the night.
I implore you not to enter speed dating with the sole objective of finding the love of your life! When it comes to love, anything can happen, and it has happened to rare couples here and there around the globe. Take each date as they come and persist with meeting new people. It could happen with the first person at the very first event, or it could take you ten events to find a click if you have a certain personality type or quirky look that intimidates or confuses people who don’t know what to make of you. You might be comfortable in your own skin, but not everyone else is comfortable in theirs or with yours. Everyone is judgemental to some degree, and that includes you.
6. Speed Date With Confidence
Speed dating tips for women number six is that confidence is attractive to both genders. Don’t presume that only the man has to make the first move or initiate the conversation. Be brave, be bold, be adventurous and take the pressure off your date by asking the first question or breaking the ice with a good joke. Be conscious of your posture and how you sit, stand, and hold yourself. Be aware of your body posture. Crossed arms might be a sign of insecurity and the person trying to hug themselves for comfort subconsciously, or it might be a physical barrier they are putting up between you defensively as they don’t like your line of questioning or vibe with your energy. That works both ways. If you know you have a serious case of resting bitch face, make sure you go out of your way to smile and break the resting face.
Practice smiling as you introduce yourself in front of a mirror. Surprisingly, having the perfect smile does not come naturally or easily to most people, certainly those over the age of forty. If you grew up with a mobile glued to your hand, taking selfies all day, every day, then you might be perfectly comfortable pulling the perfect smile out of the bag anytime you need to flash your pearly whites. The more you smile and relax, the faster the other person will feel at ease in your presence.
7. Carpe Diem: Fear Kills More Dreams Than Failure Ever Did
Speed dating tips for women number seven has to do with matches. Not the kind you use to light a candle, the kind the speed dating organisers send you if both parties ticked the box on their cards registering a mutual desire to have a follow-up date in the real world.
When your emailed match details arrive, get in contact with them immediately. Send them a quick text or email stating that you enjoyed your brief time with them at the event and look forward to a second meeting over coffee to better get to know each other. Always make the second meeting a short and casual one in a public place. Plan for one hour, two at the most. If by the end of that time, you are only getting started and have so much to learn about each other, then make a third date and so forth. Don’t ever make your second meeting a fancy restaurant dinner or a commitment to more than two hours of time in case the click was only the result of a brief spark, but there is no follow-up substance, or their true character is very different to the one they portrayed on the night, and you don’t wish to see them again.
Don’t delay or second guess your choice out of fear! Don’t be tempted to play childish games by holding back in the deluded hope that will make them want you more if you appear aloof and distant. Clearly, you don’t have a black book full of numbers and a busy social calendar. If you did, you wouldn’t have been at the event in the first place! It tells them you are immature and not interested in them, so why did you bother to tick their box as a match? Grow up and act your age, not your shoe size!
Post the event, you might be a little nervous, shy, and reluctant to appear vulnerable or needy. Everyone has some level of abandonment issue and a fear of rejection; however, it is worth grabbing the bull by the horns and seeing if you can ride it to the bell! Ultimately the only thing you lose by not taking the opportunity is potentially a new friend or a future long-term partner.
8. If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try, Try Until You Do!
Speed dating tips for women number eight is that no matter what version of the dating strategy you are utilising, the key to success in any endeavour in life is repetition, and practice makes perfect. Dating is no different. If you don’t get a match from the first event, don’t give up and sulk, filled with self-pity that no one loves or wants you! If that is your go-to attitude, then there is a reason you are single, and you project that onto others who read it and don’t wish to buy into your pity party attitude. Why would they? If you can’t love yourself enough to accept that you are not going to appeal to everyone and vice versa, then you have some bigger issues that need professional help and time on a chase to work through before you are ready to start dating and seeking the love of your life.
The more speed dating events you attend, the more confident, familiar, and relaxed you become with the format. Once you are in the right headspace, you can be objective and base your impressions, intuition, and general vibe from the person without subconsciously projecting your bag of issues onto them.
If you have a particular style that makes you stand out from the crowd and draws attention to you, then others may not be comfortable with that persona or level of interest, and while they might genuinely like you, they don’t want the drama that being with you would create for them. Examples of this are facial tattoos, the punk look, body modifications and piercings, emo or goth, multi-coloured hair dyes, or you dress like a cheap streetwalker with a drug addiction.
Plenty of people have gone to a speed dating event as themselves in their most flamboyant and outlandish style, only to come away with a bruised ego when no one wanted to follow up with them. Always be your authentic self, but if you are that out there, tone it down so that it is suitable for the masses if you genuinely seek company or find a dating group that shares your specific style and interest. Speed dating caters to the majority appeal, not the individual
Final Advice
As with any advice given in life, you can take it or leave it to suit yourself. Using one, some or all of these tips will help you to enter an anxiety-building event with relaxed confidence. When you relax, you have fun. Meeting new people can open doors or social networks that you never expected to access.
If this is your first foray into the world of speed dating, you may have questions of how to be confident on a first date. We have the answers in our FAQs or check out our comprehensive blog content for anything that has yet to be covered here. Be positive, stay focused, and have fun. You are metaphorically test-driving the car, not buying it on the spot. There are a lot of cars and a lot of test drives to take before you find the right one for you.