6 Tips On How To Be Confident On A First Date

Confidence is a key point when it comes to dating, but what is it, and how do you project it on a first date when you are internally quaking, and they leave you tongue-tied and discombobulated? 

Every new relationship has a starting point and origin from where two individual souls cross paths and manifest a meeting. Meeting up with someone for the first time can be a nerve-racking and anxiety-inducing experience for some people more than others. Overthinking and stressing too much about what you say or how you present yourself to them during your date can erode the magic and spontaneous nature of the moment. Trying too hard to impress can kill what could have been a massive success if you had relaxed and been your real self, not tried to project the image of being something you are not naturally. Everyone is guilty of it to some degree. We all want to make a great first impression.

When it comes to first dates, confidence in self and the world around you is a key component to impressing someone naturally. Exuding confidence shows you are someone who knows what you do and don’t want from life. 

Everyone expects the male to be confident, assertive, dominant, and secure. No one wants a doormat they can walk over and wipe their feet on. However, if you happen to be an alpha female with all the same qualities as a masculine, then you might find it harder than Barbie to find a suitable match who isn’t intimidated, emasculated, or flat-out terrified by your confidence and ability to take control of situations.

Some guys don’t date confident women because they are projecting their own lack of confidence, and if they date someone who possesses what they don’t have, they will be exposed for their psyche flaws, shamed, and embarrassed. They prevent being that vulnerable and exposed by actively choosing to try and shame and ridicule strong women in an attempt to cover their weakness as a man.

You deserve to have an enjoyable dating experience shared with an equal, not someone who needs to control everything all the time. You deserve to feel good about yourself and express your self-confidence every moment you draw breath. Dating is no exception.  

Let’s discuss the top six tips of how to be confident on a first date  that will enable you to reveal your true self and radiate confidence on your first date.

1. Lighten the mood
2. Radiate confidence
3. Look your best
4. Be yourself
5. You’re both in the same boat
6. Prepare interesting questions to ask your date. 

You may be anxious to the point of making yourself physically sick just thinking about meeting up with someone new, especially if you find them blindingly attractive and they have you twisted up in knots. Dating doesn’t have to be scary or intimidating if you approach it with the correct mindset in place before you venture out onto the date.

To help ease your nerves:

1. Take some time before your date to transition your anxiety and fear into butterflies of excitement.
2. Hit the gym and do an intense workout, dance to your favourite music, meditate yourself into a positive mindset, or bake something yummy to eat at the other end of the date loaded with chocolate to boost your confidence.
3. Try getting a massage pamper session in, visit the barber for the works, give your nails a mani/Pedi, and have a stylist give you a professional hair and makeup makeover that leaves you looking your most amazing.
4. Make sure you dress from the inside out to feel your best: ladies, time to break out your favourite lingerie and perfume. Men, wash and wear your lucky socks, undies, tie, baseball cap, etc.

If you feel confident before you leave the house for your date, you will carry that confidence into your date. Take the initiative and break the ice by texting your date ahead of time, asking them to think of three ‘out there’ questions they are never likely to be asked on a date and have one piece of random trivia that is true so you can learn something new for the day. Then mention that you have three questions and a fact that will send them for six. Let them know you look forward to spending time with them and learning their fun trivia facts.

We will touch on the questions you prepare in advance later in the article, but don’t forget to show up on your date armed with light-hearted topics you’d like to discuss and that you researched for fact, not fiction, and avoid bringing up heavy, serious topics that may disrupt the positive vibe and cause unnecessary fractures in the flow of conversation or sour the date completely.

Remember that the other person might be more or less open-minded and have different boundary settings to you. They may be open to discussing any topic you bring up at length, no matter how controversial, or they may not wish to discuss any taboo or hot-button topics like politics, religion, Exes, children, family, etc.

Present Your Most Authentic Self

Put your best foot forward from the get-go and make that wow first impression. There is the potential for your date to end up seeing you in your sweats, covered in Cheeto dust, and looking like a vagabond. Your first date is not that time or place!

While you can’t control the course of a date, you can control your appearance, mood, enthusiasm, your side of the conversation, and energy level. Whether going to the beach or a five-star restaurant, it is important to put your best foot forward by ensuring you look and feel your best. 

Confidence stems from knowing that you are on top of your A-game. That means you will want to tend to your physical appearance and personal hygiene, such as showering before the date, applying deodorant, cleaning your teeth, ironing your clothes, and polishing your shoes, all of which will boost your confidence because you know without a doubt that you good fit enough to be consumed whole!

Lastly, your smile says a lot about your confidence. A genuine and infectious smile can help relax your date, and smiles are contagious, meaning they will smile, and any tension will be lessened. Smiling makes you appear confident. If your date involves eating, don’t forget to pack mints and toothpicks to keep your breath fresh and remove any debris between your teeth!

Prepare Interesting Questions To Ask Your Date

Some lucky people are socially adept and have the fluid gift of the gab. They can connect quickly and converse on various topics with a deft finesse that is enviable. For others, the conversation might be stilted or limited to only a few familiar areas, and making small talk is awkward for them.

Chemistry may not be immediately apparent, and you might discover within minutes that your aspiring data connection has become a major bust, and that’s okay! Confident people are not afraid to get the ball rolling and still provide congenial conversation. If you find yourself running out of interesting topics to talk about, try asking a few open-ended questions to get to know your date better. Check out our article on interesting questions to ask on a speed date to give you some ideas to work with.

You don’t have to memorise all your questions, you can take an index card with a dozen questions, some fun facts, and interesting topics to discuss, and if you get stuck and the crickets start chirping, refer to your index card and get the ball rolling again.

Be Yourself Authentic Self

One of the fastest ways to turn someone off on a date and shut down a connection is to be fake, arrogant, conceited, narcissistic, and know it all. The term ‘fake it till you make it’ is eventually seen through, if not quickly, by the highly perceptive and intuitive types.

There is a difference between being confident and telling the truth and over-exaggerating, telling blatant lies, or trying to project a false bravado or the appearance of something your want to be but have not yet reached that goal. Lying only promotes mistrust and earns contempt from anyone on the end of the BS you are trying to force-feed them.

Inauthenticity will be exposed, so avoid putting on a facade. If you stay true to yourself, your confidence will shine through, and you won’t spend the rest of your life trying to remember what lies you spun or being exposed as a fraud by your date. Should your first date lead to a second and continue into a relationship, you want the person to like you for who you are, not who you pretend you are.

Confidence comes from knowing who you are and being able to express who you are, uncaring of the judgement of others. Judgement is a fact of life, but you should never allow your true self to be obscured or dull your light. Even if you don’t connect with your date, despite the fact you really wanted them to like you, it wasn’t meant to be, and there are plenty of other fish in the ocean. The right person for you won’t care what food you order, if you have GQ or Vogue dress sense, or if you have crooked teeth when you smile, so don’t be afraid to relax, enjoy the dating process and be yourself until you find the right one.

How To Be Confident On A First Date – You Are Both In The Same Boat

When all is said and done, the date has concluded, and you are sifting through how your date went in the post-debrief; remember that it is only a date, not a relationship, and certainly not a long-term commitment. You are simply spending time with another person, a stranger to you, who, like you, is looking to establish a genuine connection with someone. Maybe it will be you, but maybe not.

For any relationship to work, be it platonic or romantic in nature, there has to be a mutual level of reciprocal interest. One party might feel an instant physical attraction to their date that is not reciprocated, and navigating a one-sided attraction can be tricky and hard on the ego.

You cannot force an attraction to someone, even if everything looks great on paper. If you overlook the fundamental basics to enter a relationship out of desperation or loneliness, then you are headed straight for unnecessary heartbreak and rejection that will be far worse than accepting that your chosen ideal mate didn’t feel the same way about you. It means they are not your soulmate, and your dating journey has not yet concluded.  

One final suggestion on how to be confident on your first date is to remember not to spend too much time trying to create your idea of the perfect date. There is no such thing as perfect anything, and your desire to give and experience the perfect date will detract from the joy and genuine excitement of the whole experience for you both.

Having a positive outlook will help you feel more confident and allow you to relax and be present in the moment as you get to know your date and they get to know you. If the connection is there always remember to follow up after a date and go from there.