6 Top Speed Dating Tips For Success

Icebreakers Are A Prelude 

Speed dating works when someone is brave enough and take control of the situation, and ladies, it isn’t always the onus of men. Icebreakers are a prelude to an introduction that should lead to conversation. Icebreakers are often mistaken for pick-up lines; however, they are different. Pick-up lines can be used as an icebreaker if you possess plenty of swagger and sass and can carry off the delivery flawlessly!

If I told you that my ship is destined to crash into your iceberg, is that classed as a big enough icebreaker for you to tell me your name? Hi, I am ….

If you cannot create your own pick-up lines, plenty of online websites will give you a ton of ideas. Avoid the lame ones every woman knows as it does not show originality and a playful side; it says you are lazy and one of the sheeple who have no interest in working on genuine conversation, you are only looking for a quick bump and grind with no follow-up. No one with self-respect or who is genuinely seeking a follow-up date will give you the time of day.

Here are three icebreakers for free:

• Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date with me?
• There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn’t have your number in it.
• If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together and ‘F’ ‘U’ every day for the rest of our time shared on earth.

Avoid awkward silences; they are cringy and painful! Stand out from the crowd. Pretend you are auditioning for a role in a movie and find a new you in your alter ego. Don’t be a wallflower too timid and shy to pluck up the courage and put yourself out there. Sure, you will get rejected by some, but that is not a bad thing. Learning how to deal with and accept rejection is a large part of being a well-rounded individual. Not everyone will be attracted to or interested in you, which works both ways.

Be polite about your disinterest and opt for grace and tact where it is possible to take the high road. Gentle, polite rejection is one thing. A mean-spirited individual of either gender is going home alone or with an equally mean-spirited individual that will make their life hell, and they deserve that karma.

No Negative Neils’ And Nancys’ 

Leave your bad mood, past hurts and trauma, and general dislike of dating-related things at home!

Keeping a positive outlook on your dating life can be far easier to say than to do when you don’t have anyone and your last significant person was so long ago you’d need to pull off your socks to count back the months or years to have passed. That said, bringing your negative experiences to a positive party is the equivalent of bringing a can of hot tuna to an ice cream party!

No one wants that!

Trying to share your terrible dating experiences in the past that led you to speed dating as a last resort is not going to endear you to anyone, especially when they likely have similar experiences and are there for the same reason. The only difference is that they seek to find someone fun and easy to engage in stimulating conversation to move forward in life with, not the wet soggy bit of biscuit at the bottom of the cup you appear to be.

The Seven P Always Pay

If you are unfamiliar with the 7 ‘P’s,’ then you clearly have no game or life experience. You probably do not belong at a speed dating event, certainly not as a participant, unless you are willing to force yourself out of your comfort zone and interact with people in a dominant manner. Speed dating requires a healthy balance of rapid give and take. It can appear as a little dog eat dog in the beginning. However, having a solid plan and preparing your questions in advance can go a long way to seeing you achieve a successful outcome.

Prior Planning and Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

No area of life will give you a wider variety of experiences than dating. Dating only happens when someone finds you interesting and attractive enough to want to share time with you. There are specific things that make you who you are and unique in your own way. Hopefully, they are things that make you interesting, a little mysterious with a tiny dash of unpredictability. 

Speed dating is set to a strict timer, and you need to get a feel for the person opposite you fast. If you asked someone about themselves and they had no response, you would, at least should, be concerned. That is reciprocal. If you have lived a boring life contained in a bubble and had no interesting experiences in the last year, and you know you have signed up for a speed dating event, go out of your way to do something interesting that you can talk about and share before you undertake your speed dating event. 

No one at a speed date event has time for an uninteresting person. They can stay home and be bored and uninspired, so bring your A game. Come prepared with snippets of your life adventures ready to roll on short notice. If you have photos of places visited, have them sorted and ready to share in a folder with only the relevant photos, so you don’t chew up time trying to find the photo you seek. 

Sit in front of a mirror once you have your game plan, and then practice both roles. Answer your own questions so you get used to asking and then answering questions with an equal level of comfort. While your date won’t go to your rehearsal plan, it will help you think on your feet and allow you to be flexible without resorting to stutters, dead air, and tripping over your words.

Check Your Ego At The Door

This is perhaps the single most important piece of advice. We all have a lid for our pot, no matter how warped that lid or pot may be. It goes without saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and is subjective on an individual basis. Others may find what one person deems attractive entirely unattractive; therefore, attractiveness is subjective. If you enter speed dating thinking you are the least attractive or the most attractive person in the room, your ego is going to get hit or boosted or both by the end of the night. Rejection is part of life, and learning not to take it as a personal affront is key to dating success. It is, to some degree, a numbers game.

Confidence is more attractive than a centrefold model. You can only stare at something attractive for so long before you require interaction on a cerebral level to some degree. Having a flawless ten on your arm who can barely count to twenty will quickly lose its initial appeal. It will save the people you meet from feeling awkward and help your self-esteem if you enter speed dating with the understanding that you will only find fifty per cent of the room as potential candidates for you. Every one of those people is the same. Just because you find X, Y and Z super attractive does not mean that you fit their type profile, and they may have no interest in you other than an inane conversation that fills out the timer before you both move on to the next candidate.

Check your ego and remember that sometimes people just aren’t into each other, and it is not personal. We all have a “type” and there is a reason for that on a cosmic and biological level.

If someone isn’t into you, it is made clear quickly, and you need to continue having a good conversation. You haven’t been rejected. Enjoy the fact the pressure is no longer present for a potential relationship and understand that you can make platonic friends and network at these events. While you might not hook up with the love of your life, you might make some new friends. Keep an open mind and don’t write someone off simply because the attraction factor is not present.

Insert, Repeat, Next!

Depending on the venue and the event itself, speed dating can see you meet multiple people. Large events can see you sitting opposite up to twenty people in one sitting. Even if you only get five minutes with each person, that begins to take its toll on you with each person you encounter. Add to that the boredom of answering the same mundane questions, and you might find yourself giving less and less enthusiasm to each person, which can cloud the appeal of both parties.

If you have not already checked out and printed off our speed dating questions to ask on your next date, now is the perfect time to hit the link and arm yourself with questions that will stop boredom dead in its tracks for all parties concerned and see the jaded person 18 candidates down seated opposite you perk up and reengage with full enthusiasm.

If all else fails, ask them where they would rather be and what they wished they had spent the last few hours doing instead of speed dating. Who doesn’t love to go to art galleries and work out how items that are only fit for the bin get awarded prizes and are called ‘generation defining’ or a ‘stroke of brilliance’? The stroke part is right, but like attractiveness, art is subjective and a fantastic second-date venue to see if you and the potential have similar or opposing views. Listening to others’ blow hard’ is also always amusing.

They Are Only Words

You don’t have to know anything about a subject to start a conversation with another person. In theory, they have to know something about your chosen topic and then speak while you listen and learn. You can start a conversation with unusual and deeply philosophical questions and see where they take you. For example, I once asked the guy beside me on a three-hour flight if he knew anything about Anarchism. It turns out he was a university professor well versed with the works of Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, and by the end of the flight, I could have passed one of his exams.

Always remember that people have the ability not only to surprise you but educate you and serve you a humble pie all in the same sitting. They are only words, and humans are designed to converse using them. If you really get bored, bone up on swear words in several foreign languages and drop a few here and there, see if your speed date picks up on them and bang, you have just learned they are likely bilingual, and you have a conversation topic.

Most of all, relax and have fun. It only has to be torture if you decide it is torture. If you don’t like where the night is going, change the direction by changing your attitude and finding a way to make the event exciting for you.