How to Prepare For A Speed Dating Event
Preparing For A Speed Dating Event
You checked out all the options and booked your place at the next speed dating event. So, what next? What should you do to prepare in advance for your speed dating event? Preparing for a speed dating event helps you feel confident and relaxed. It increases your chances of success and makes the speed dating process more enjoyable.
How To Prepare For A Speed Dating Event
Any certified Boy Scout will tell you that you should always be prepared! The Spanish tell you to expect the unexpected when you least expect it, and speed dating is one of life’s random gambles when you never know what you can expect on the day! Preparing is one thing you can do in advance that makes your life less stressful and usually results in increased levels of success in any field, and speed dating is no exception to the rule.
Speed Dating Event Preparation
Perhaps speed dating is new to you, and this is your first exposure to the concept. If so, your first step to prepare for the speed dating event is to find an event happening near you. You can opt for virtual online speed dating websites the globe over, some are free, or face-to-face speed dating in a venue or on a boat if there are event organisers in your accessible area.
A part of any good preparation is knowing what you can expect as a general guideline. That means reading up on websites that host and run speed dating events to find out their format layout, how many people they typically allow per dating session, and how long each date is set to last.
Knowing the answers to the above questions means you can plan for each date. Most events allow equal numbers of men and women (or same sex if the event is specifically for same-sex dating). Typically, it is ten of each. It can be a daunting task to sit before ten people of the opposite sex if you don’t know how long you have to engage them in conversation, and you don’t have any prepared questions to ask them that allow you to better get to know them quickly.
As a standard rule of thumb, the speed dating event format goes something like this:
You’ll be met by the host running the event proceedings at the venue. If you are online, you will enter a virtual reception room and be welcomed by the host.
Women take a seat and usually stay in that position for the duration of the dating event. Men sit opposite but then move one seat in the same direction every time the bell rings until they have sat before each woman and exchanged conversations for the duration of the timer. The timer will be set by the host and can be as short as two minutes or as long as ten minutes with each date. Once the bell rings, you close out your conversation and move quickly on to the next table and repeat the process. In the virtual dating world, you will be automatically assigned the dates until you have screen time with each candidate.
It’s up to you – and the person opposite – what you discuss or do in that time frame. The idea is to learn and share as much information equally as you can so you get a feel for who they are, what kind of energy they have, and if you both think there is enough chemistry to follow up with a real date outside of the speed dating event, or after the event has concluded in some cases.
The History Of Speed Dating
Speed dating was invented in the 1990s by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo who wanted to help busy, time-poor Jewish couples meet and quickly get to know each other. As an astute man, he decided meeting people one at a time wasn’t exactly time efficient, and there were a lot of single people looking for love. What else was he to do but gather them all in one room and give them five minutes to get to know each other one person at a time? Within ninety minutes, you have potentially met ten people, one of whom at least might interest you in further pursuing a real date with them.
Ten minutes doesn’t sound like a lot of time, but your subconscious knows instantly if the person opposite you is of interest to you and if they are interested in you. Sometimes the conscious brain needs convincing, and that is why we all make snap judgements about the people we encounter and why first impressions can occasionally be wrong … or prove to be exceptionally right!
Preparing For Your First Speed Dating Event
What do you need to think about, organise, arrange, or purchase in advance of the dating event?
The following is a list you may want to cover.
Your outfit: Work out what you plan to wear in advance and then have a second outfit ready in case you spill something on the first at the last minute, or you are having a ‘fat’ day, and the original outfit feels all wrong on the night.
There’s nothing worse than realising two hours before your dating event that you don’t have a suitable outfit, or the shirt you were going to wear is in the wash, or your flatmate borrowed it without asking.
Questions: Take the time to sit down and write out thirty questions you would like the answers to if you asked them. You can take your question sheet with you as it makes it easier to write the name of the date you asked the questions. This prevents you from asking every date the same questions, which gets banal fast for both parties. Steer clear of personal questions and keep them open and short. Don’t ask them for the definition of the meaning of life and all it entails. Unless they are quick with a comeback and know the answer is 42.
That is an inside joke and can be found in the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. If your date has seen this movie and knows the answer, then chances are you have found a winner! If you have never seen the movie, check it out or make it a future date night DVD and PJ party.
Answers: People often plan their questions but forget to think about how they might respond when asked questions. Take the time to sit in front of a mirror and practice asking and answering your questions. Get your friends or family to ask you random questions, so you get comfortable with thinking on your feet. The words, Uurrmm, Errrrr, You know, and Like, are massive turn-offs and can kill conversation seeing the chirping crickets come out to play their death sonata.
Travel plans: Work out how you will get to and from the event. Allow extra time for traffic jams, road works, accident delays, parking at the other end, and getting lost, especially if travelling at peak times. Arriving late to your venue may mean you are excluded entirely from the event, or you miss out on a date with the woman who might have been your perfect match. The specifics will depend on the speed dating event organisers’ terms and conditions, which should be read before purchasing a ticket and booking your seat.
Grooming: Always ensure you are clean, washed, and your clothes are ironed, pressed, and free of stains, rips or visibly detracting marks. Polish and clean your shoes prior to the day, so they are dry and ready to put on. Don’t polish them at the last minute, as the polish will rub off onto your trousers and hands, causing unsightly black or brown stains that do not make for a good first impression.
Personal Hygiene: Brush or style hair, clean teeth, and use deodorant, ideally with a splash of good quality perfume or cologne. Not too much. You don’t want your scent to overpower the people around you. You might love it, but they might not.
Money: You will have already paid for your speed dating event. Most of them come with complimentary champagne or beer, but if you want to order drinks from the bar, don’t forget your purse or wallet. Some events are dry bar events, and there is no drinking of alcohol. Still, you need your wallet, and maybe the love of your life is there. You might want to take her out for a drink or a late slice of pizza as you better get to know each other after the event.
Interruptions: There is always one person who forgets to put their phone or smartwatch on silent with no vibration. Your time with each person is short, so you don’t want to be distracted and disturbed by external conversations. You are there to meet new people, not talk to the ones you already know. Take your gadgets but make sure you change your settings to silent for the duration of the event.
Appointments: If you want to get your hair, beards, moustaches, or nails done, be sure to book these as soon as you have your speed dating event booked. Try for the morning of the dating event for hair and makeup, or the day prior for things like nails, tans and waxing etc.
Remember that random chaos does exist and can decide to have a field day with you on the day of your big dating event. Your hairdresser might be struck down with gastro and unable to work, the nail salon might be raided for illegal workers and shut down, or something might just go wrong and need correcting a few hours after the procedure was undertaken.
Relax And Chill: The hardest part is relaxing and allowing yourself to chill out and enjoy the experience. You won’t gel with everyone, and you won’t like all of your potential dates. Hopefully, you click with at least one person, but if you don’t, try a second event. It might have been that you were too anxious or came across in a way that put off your dates. Most people need to attend a few dates to really get the hang of speed dating successfully. So much so, that it can be hard to get a seat for men in the speed dating world as there are more men than women speed dating. So booking in advance several months might be required depending on how many event organisers you have in your country, city or area. If you don’t like one organisation, try a rival. The host or MC running the night can make or break a speed dating event and affect how you feel about the entire process.
Speed Dating Events
Don’t worry if you are feeling anxious. Your gut is twisting, and you want to throw up! This is a common side effect of dread, and you are not alone! What you are about to do is a daunting thing. All the debut speed daters will be feeling the same way. By following our tips, you can allow yourself to relax a little as you have prepared well for the night ahead, and while you can never prepare for disaster to strike, you can negate the level of damage it can do. You will arrive feeling confident in the knowledge that you know what to expect and have an idea of what to say, what to ask, and the rest is all about killing time between sleeping and dying. Have fun with it! Even if you don’t score the love of your life, you might make a new friend, who has a friend, who might be the love of your life and is waiting for them to make the connection!
The Right Speed Dating Questions
How do you start a conversation with a complete stranger you are forced to interact with? It can be awkward and daunting to hold a conversation with someone you might not connect with and wouldn’t choose to converse with outside of the event. Knowing what questions to ask and how to break the ice is where your prep comes in handy. Once you’ve introduced yourselves, ask some questions that are open and only require brief replies. These say as much about you as their response does about them. Try for unique ways to catch their attention. Ask them if they have ever learned to speak any other languages and what they were, then ask them if they are still fluent or have forgotten most of their skills. Ask them if they have lived overseas and if they learned the native language of the country. Ask them if they can drive a manual car and what other vehicles they might have driven over the course of their life. Just because a person only has a licence for one type of vehicle does not mean they have not previously held licences for other types like trucks, motorbikes, boats, jet skis and forklifts etc., to name a few. Ask them if they have ever done anything so thrill-seeking as to be life-endangering, like bungee jumping, skydiving, SCUBA diving, etc.
Take turns asking questions – you may only get time for one or two questions each, but plan to have one question for every two minutes of your date and three spares. Don’t monopolise all the time, and don’t put it on your date to hold the conversation. That gives you both equal time to ask and answer questions. It also allows you to have extra up your sleeve, especially if you don’t want to ask each date the same thing. Keep it to open questions, that is, anything that doesn’t result in a yes or no response. This will enable the conversation to flow, using the first question as a starting point to build and elaborate upon.
Related Dating Event Questions
How Do You Impress Your Speed Dates?
Asking unique questions other people won’t have asked is the first way to remain memorable and have people want to get to know you better. There is nothing more frustrating than being asked a great question you could spend an hour talking about, only to get two minutes and still not have fully answered the question. By asking questions people want to elaborate on and explore with you, you boldly place yourself at the top of their list of people to catch up with. That translates into a tick in their box, and if you tick their name in your box, the match is complete, and the event organiser will send you each other’s details within 24 hours. You can then make your real date official and get talking in earnest with each other in your own time.
Always maintain a positive and friendly vibe. Even if they are not your type and you don’t like their energy, respect and courtesy go a long way and are free to give and receive. Being rude or intentionally abrupt is counterproductive and disrespectful to them and shows your true colours as being fairly black and unlikeable. They will be thrilled you don’t fancy them and can’t wait for the bell to ring as they pity whoever you decide to gel with and your next date.
Women are exceptional at picking up on small cues, so if you upset one, those around her are like meerkats and will pick up the signal others send out as a warning about you. You might find yourself getting a night of hostile receptions if you treat one badly.
Open body language with friendly, relaxed eye contact and a genuinely warm smile.
Dress well with a splash of colour and a statement piece if you want a feature to be remembered, even if they forget your name. Don’t take it personally. When you meet ten new people in a row, you forget eight of them as a general rule unless you have exceptional name-retention abilities. Having a statement colour or article of bling can help the event creator make the missing links and provide the correct names.
Make sure you tick the right box. Too many a speed dater has been so nervous they ticked the wrong name and ended up getting a date with the wrong person and never getting one with the right person. The irony is enough to make you cry, especially if the one you really wanted ticked you and because you ticked the wrong box, the connection was never made. So, take your time. Check twice, ensure you have the right name and person, and then be yourself. Your true self. Trying to put on a false mask or act in a certain way to be perceived by others will, if not immediately by the astute, be seen through over time. No one likes a liar or a pretender. You can’t build a solid foundation if you build it on lies or half-truths.
What To Wear To A Speed Dating Event?
We recommend a smart dressy-casual style outfit during the day, a cocktail dress for ladies, and a suit for men after five pm. Something that does everything right for you and that makes you feel like a million dollars. Something comfortable for sitting in for long periods. Nothing that will cut you in half or restrict your breathing. Ladies, while you might have a truly impressive and bountiful chest, keep it modestly hidden. Men are entirely unable to give stimulating and intelligent conversation when you have ninety per cent of your breast staring them in the face blatantly. Respect yourself, and the men will respect you too.