7 First Date Conversation Starters Guide

Conversation Starters For Dating

First dates can be described as anxiety-building, exciting, uncomfortable, intimidating, intriguing, good fun, totally awkward, and a total disaster. The first date experience with a new person can leave the most confident and socially adept individual floundering in no man’s land, struggling to come up with conversation starters on a first date to get the ball rolling.

When it comes to sitting across from a stranger you are attracted to, it can suddenly feel like you are interviewing with a board of directors as questions come at you from all angles, thick and fast. You struggle to keep up with the flow of information exchanged. But what happens when that flow suddenly dries up, or the person holding the majority of the conversion stops talking, and it is your turn to contribute to the information exchange? Do you have a ready supply of get out of awkward situations conversation starters ready to deploy and save the day? If the answer to that question was no, we are here to save the day and transform your life!

Dating Conversation Starter #1

Give Them An Abridged Version Of Your Life Story 

When we say abridged version, we mean the general background and any highlights or events that occurred to shape you into the amazing individual that you are. When you share your experiences from childhood with each other, it can increase the bond and attraction level where you have shared similar experiences with family, siblings, or life experiences in general. You quickly learn about the other person’s life journey and what led to them entering your life at that point in time.

Regardless of whether you come from similar or very different backgrounds, talking about where you were born, your ancestry, your family life and dynamics, and details from childhood events that might have left a traumatic scar on your psyche can help reveal insights about one another. 

You may discover that while you come from a large, close-knit family and you are the youngest, they might be an only child orphaned at a young age who grew up in the foster system. Despite the differences, you watched the same TV shows, played the same video games, and both loved or hated school for the same or different reasons.

Dating Conversation Starter #2

Discuss Your Favourite Movies, TV Shows, Video Games, And Books Now And As A Child

In today’s technology-driven, app and device-centric world, the way we experience life as children has drastically changed in a short period of time. The older you are, the more changes you will have to discuss the pros and cons of losing and gaining.

With the relentless push to move away from the traditional in pursuit of the digital or virtual world, the creation of platforms like Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, Kindle, and Audible, to name a few, there are a plethora of streaming services providing access to movies, shows, or literature on demand and right there in the palm of your hand without leaving the house or while commuting to and from work. With this in mind, talking about the different TV series you are binge-watching or currently addicted to watching, discussing the latest must-see movies, and telling them about your all-time favourite book as an adult compared to when you were a child can have you both laughing to the point of stitches and tears. The conversations that stem from this one topic can last for hours if both parties come to the fore with an equal exchange of information. 

However, not everyone is comfortable discussing their family, past, or life journey. They may be hiding something from you or simply being a very guarded and private person who does not share personal information they do not deem to be anyone’s business. The first date is not the time or place to reveal that level of personal information to a complete stranger. Don’t take it personally. Just mark it as a potential red flag that needs further investigation if you decide to further dates in the future.

Dating Conversation Starter #3

Discuss Your Hobbies And Passions

A first date is the perfect time to talk about your hobbies and driving passions and share what makes you who you are with your date. If you play a musical instrument, write novels, teach yoga, train at the gym every day for three hours religiously, or happen to be an avid football fan who would be considered a fanatic on the subject, opening up about your interests and driving passions can help to create new conversation starters for you and your date to explore. At the same time, it gives you both a measure by which to decide if your interests and hobbies are of a Sympatico nature or put you into a conflict zone.

By talking about what you like to do for fun, you are teaching your date more about you and opening the door to finding out more about them in return. You’ll learn about their preferences, personalities, what part of their life is fixed and, what parts are flexible, and where they will have time to fit you into their life and vice versa. If you know in advance your partner is a body-conscious fitness freak who looks amazing naked but spends twenty hours a week in the gym religiously to maintain that body or train for a competition. You can’t then complain about them never having time for you. Before going into the situation, you knew their priorities and where you would fall on that list. Accepting that is who they are, you agreed to date them as they were.

Dating Conversation Starter #4

Converse About Travel Destinations  

Were you born in a foreign country or with itchy feet that need to tread paths in foreign lands? 

Discussing your plans to travel to a dream destination or exotic getaway and relaying any travel stories or experiences you have had prior to meeting them can spark dating conversations and see things take off like wildfire. Talking about travel always comes in the top five places on any list of conversation starters because it is a failsafe. Everyone wants to travel somewhere, and a large majority of people have travelled to places before meeting you. The older they are, the more likely they are to have travelled extensively and seen a lot of the globe with stories to tell about each place. 

Listening to this information and locking it away in the databanks can pay off down the track if you both end up in a long-term relationship. It gives you a dream destination to plan an impromptu wedding or relax on your honeymoon. You might desire to surprise them with tickets for a weeklong vacation to spend time together, building more memories, and having good times with each other.

Dating Conversation Starter #5

Music To The Ears

Music, like art, is subjective to the individual. You can learn a lot about a person by talking about their favourite music genres, bands, and songs. Music is a great conversation starter topic on a first date because it isn’t considered taboo or controversial and covers a massive spectrum. Hearing your favourite song sung in another language can be eye-opening if you have never taken your love of music on an adventure. (Bit like watching your favourite movie in a foreign language to see how it changes the experience.)

You might discover you like a lot of the same music or come at it from totally different ends of the spectrum with no room to meet in the middle. Music as a date conversation starter can be a great way to get new band recommendations and share knowledge about bands and music genres you might never have heard. 

Music concerts and local band gigs can help the two of you form a bond you mutually desire to explore further on a second date. You can open up about the best and worst live shows you paid good money to see. You can then talk about artists long dead you wish you could go back in time to see in their heyday.

Dating Conversation Starter #6

Dreams, Goals, And Ambitions

Dreams, goals, and ambitions can be introduced as a first-date conversation starter towards the end of the date. Where do you both see yourself in five, ten, or twenty years? What do you hope to have achieved in life, career, or ticked off your bucket list if you have one.

When it comes to the big life questions, candidly discussing your goals, dreams, and ambitions on a first date can reveal an in-depth insight into the potential love of your life or establish they are unequivocally not that person.

Your goals can be something other than career-oriented or fantasy in origin. The key is to share what you’d like to accomplish, regardless of whether it is learning how to play an instrument, mastering a cuisine style, getting a black belt in a martial art, or making the top ten list on a global video game and then winning the ultimate first prize.

It might be to retire early and live the good life on the beach, work a plot of land, and be entirely self-sufficient. Knowing if your goals, dreams, and ambitions are in alignment or in juxtaposition can quickly and easily determine if there is a reason or desire to continue the date and make plans for a second or if it is time to call it quits and wait for the right person to take your fancy.

Dating Conversation Starter #7

Talk About Food And Alcohol

First dates don’t always involve food or alcohol, and nor should they really. Talking about food choices and go-to favourite styles like Chinese, Sushi, or Tex-Mex can be a great way to set the scene for a second date. Conversing about your favourite restaurants, cuisines, and bakeries can deliver surprising little niche venues you have never visited and need to add to your list. It gives you the opportunity to discuss any food intolerances or allergies you might both deal with and what food groups or foods you hate and would be happy to see removed from the planet.

Not everyone likes alcohol, and not everyone drinks alcohol. It might be a religious thing, a personal stance to remove what was once a toxic habit or addiction that ruined their life, or they don’t enjoy or like the taste of alcohol. Establishing boundaries like these in advance of a second date makes future dates much easier to arrange, given you know what restaurants are suitable and can eliminate those that serve food your date won’t or can’t eat. There is no point going for a sushi date if your date hates seaweed and has an anaphylactic reaction to seafood or rice.

As a tip and last piece of advice gem, never opt for a fine dining experience on a first date! Not only are they going to be nervous, possibly anxious, and potentially clumsy, the last thing either of you needs is the added pressure of having to display your best manners and the correct social eating protocol and etiquette that comes with dining in such establishments. Leave the grand gestures to around date six and then put their dining etiquette to the test as they do the same to you. If you don’t know the first thing about dining etiquette, you should take a fine dining etiquette course so you are polished and prepared and can where it is required give your date gentle tips to lift their game if it is required. FYI, if you are splitting the bill by the sixth date, your chances of longevity are slim.