How To Flirt Successfully
How Does One Learn How To Flirt Successfully
To flirt successfully is a natural and inbuilt instinct in some people. Natural flirts will flirt outrageously with everyone they encounter in a day and the wall. They are typically chatty, quick to initiate a casual conversation and fairly easy to like in most cases. When done well, and with the right intentions, flirting can be harmless fun and boost someone’s confidence, giving them a new lease on life or a situation that was a concern for them.
Define How To Flirt Successfully
Flirting is loosely defined as behaving with a sexual interest in a person in a playful manner. But not all flirting has to be sexual in nature. A good flirt will be able to flirt with the postman when he hand delivers their mail, have the gas station attendant blushing, and talk their way into getting a free sample of a new product not intended for that purpose.
Flirting With Intent
It has to be said that the best flirts are master manipulators. They have worked out how to wrap people around their little finger and then use that insight to get them what they want in such a way as to make it seem like the other person’s idea all along.
A successful flirt will always flirt with a specific intent behind the scenes. It might be to gain a favour from you, or to manipulate you into giving them something they wanted without you realising what it was they wanted. They might be making a full-frontal assault on a hottie they want to dance buck naked with and make no bones about showing their desire and interest in that person using subtle cues and overt sexual body language. When done well, flirting can boost self-esteem and productivity and get the flirt exactly what they want every time.
Not done well, or done with the wrong intentions, and you can find yourself facing off with a flirt gone wrong to reveal the evil manipulator that lies at the heart of their persona. Excessive flirting, using overly sexual body language, and even where the flirting takes place can all flip the switch and turn a successful flirt into an unsuccessful flirt.
What Skills Are Required To Be A Successful Flirt
There are several skills required to be a successful flirt. You need to read people easily; for most people, that is not an easy or available skill set. You need a keen eye and superior observational skills. You need to notice things others typically miss that are right there to be seen, but not many see. You need to be able to read between the lines and see the double meaning in people’s wordplay. But most of all, you need to read body language and non-verbal cues like posture, positioning, tone of voice, pupil size and be able to read a person’s energy field or aura.
If you are the type of person who can walk into a room in which a full-blown argument has just finished and not notice the tension, anger, or residual hostilities in the air, then you will never be a successful flirt. If you can enter a room and instantly feel the energy within it, regardless of what that energy is, you have the skills needed to be a master flirt.
Master flirts who are successful with their flirting techniques will often spend more time reading other people and the relationships around them, looking for blackmail opportunities, and picking up on who is having what secret affair and with whom in the office. They are usually contacts in everyone’s phone or email account, and they keep their finger on the pulse in what could be considered a somewhat sociopathic manner. That isn’t to say all successful flirts are sociopaths, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t. Sociopaths are typically notorious flirts because it is in their nature to control and manipulate others.
What Sets A Successful Flirt Apart From A Sociopath
The short answer is intent. The intention behind flirting differentiates a harmless flirt from a sociopath and a successful flirt from an unsuccessful one. Harmless flirts might flutter their lashes, wink and blow kisses across the room to an interested party. They might stroke, twist or play with their hair, draw attention to their chest area or legs using hand gestures to direct and guide the person’s attention and focus. They might suggestively use a straw or food to demonstrate their oral skills and tongue dexterity, or use the bottle or glass in their hand moved subtly in just the right manner to suggest or imply they are open to giving or receiving some hand action in a sexual environment all without saying a single word and from the other side of the room. The displays and playful antics can never be mistaken for anything but what they were intended to be by the recipient.
Successful flirts are guaranteed to leave a club or bar with their intended mate or date so long as that person shares a mutual interest or level of attraction. The success or failure of being a good flirt comes down to practice, practice, practice, and more practice. There is no quick fix or five-minute course you can take. Developing your flirting techniques is only improved with practical application on subjects who are not aware you are using them to practise upon, and that can be viewed as a little immoral or slightly sociopathic in nature if you were not born with a natural aptitude and innate talent for flirting successfully.
Advice For Learner Flirts
- Read books and learn how to read body language.
- Look for the predominant energy in every situation.
- Study people and look for the subtle exchanges between them.
- Learn to read nonverbal cues like tone of voice, gait, and posture.
- Hold eye contact and keep it at all times. The eyes are the mirror to the soul, and you can spot a liar instantly by where they place their eyes when they tell the lies.
- Understand how to read and engage sexual arousal and interest in people.
- Use flattery and compliments to bolster confidence
- Don’t use excess flattery! You can come across as insincere and a user of people for your own gain if every time you see a person, you give them platitude compliments. Intuitive people can see through empty flattery and fake compliments the moment they leave your mouth and will blacklist you as having any value or moral integrity.
- Successful flirts know who to flirt with and who to avoid flirting with. They won’t waste their time on a dead end as it serves no purpose to them.
Related How To Flirt Questions
How To Flirt Over Text Messages?
Keep it short and sweet. As a general rule, the simpler the message, the better. Long text can quickly get misunderstood or read the wrong way in a two-dimensional format.
Stay positive. Flirting, by nature, is meant to be cheerful and light-hearted. It should make you both walk away with a smile and feel like giddy love-struck teenagers.
Be honest in your compliments but never overdo it and add lies or insincerity to your compliments.
Don’t tell her that shade of lipstick looked good on her if it looked garish. She will assume you like it and wear it because you said you liked it, so you dug your own hole there.
Ask playful questions that are open and require them to expand on the topic, not answer with monosyllables. Nothing good has ever come from a monosyllabic conversation for a reason!
How To Flirt With A Girl Over Text?
Keep it classy and free of sexual overtones until you reach that point in the relationship. Women like a man to use their intellect and prove they can do more than procreate. Think with the brain above your shoulders, not below your belt.
How To Flirt With A Guy Over Text
Guys are fairly simple and practical creatures. They like short and to-the-point text and dislike waffle.
Is Flirting With Books A Real Thing?
Yes, but not as you might think. Flirting with books is a novel way to get people to sign up for a book club and be sent a random book wrapped in paper. You get the joy of receiving a gift-wrapped book that is a complete mystery to you until you open it. You could send your flirt a gift-wrapped book as a flirting option to show your interest, and if you choose the book and wrap it yourself, there will be a hidden context and meaning behind in the choice of book you send to them. You can even inscribe it with a love poem or personalised note.