18 Secrets To What Men Really Want In A Woman

What men really want in a woman is subjective to the individual man, and a collective statement only serves to cause stereotypes that continue to dog the gender equality debate. We must acknowledge that all men hold a high level of hypocrisy when it comes to their standards versus the women they choose and why. What is good for the Gander should be good for the Goose, but it is rare to find a good man who will agree with a woman on that score and genuinely mean it. If you are lucky enough to stumble across one of the rare breeds, then consider yourself blessed.

1. Dominance

Most men view themselves as the alpha force or dominant party in their relationships. While there are men who have fetishes for cuckold scenarios, or who seek a dominatrix to belittle and deride them, the majority of men seek a traditional man-in-charge at all times approach to relationships that clashes with the new way women are demanding equality across the board. It is causing a shift in the dynamics of relationships in the younger generations that can only lead to positive changes in the future that leave behind misogyny and chauvinism.

2. Respect

A man’s core need is to be respected and viewed as an authoritative source for and to his woman. He will be attracted to a woman who respects him and places his needs above hers. Very few men genuinely cope well with a woman who respects herself and places her needs and self above them and their needs. When given a choice between a rocket scientist who knows her worth and value and demands it from all around her, and the meek, insecure, low self-esteem woman who will do whatever it takes to please him, his choice was never hesitated over. He didn’t choose the rocket scientist because she intimidated and terrified him. She awoke his childhood trauma around rejection and abandonment and displaced his ego with the stark reality that is his fear of failure. You were too strong, intelligent, self-sufficient, and independent to cater to his fragile ego and need for dominance. Even if you could, he couldn’t cater to yours.

3. She Must Be Trustworthy

Trust is crucial to men. A man seeks a woman he knows will ride and die for him no matter the circumstance. Men want women they can trust to keep their word, fidelity, and legs closed. A trustworthy woman makes men feel safe and secure in their choice of partner. It is important for a man to be able to trust his woman not to cheat on him with his friends in the same way he might cheat on her with hers. He cares not for the hypocrisy of the double standard, only that he can trust her not to cheat on him.

4. She Listens And Hears

Men generally dislike listening to a woman talk after they have sealed the deal. You likely did most of the talking in the dating stage, and they know everything they want to know. They will ask for clarification or an explanation if they want to know something. What men really want in a woman is someone who listens to them and hears what he is saying. A woman who listens and complies is more likely to be seen as long-term relationship material rather than a friend with benefits. When you listen to a man and do as you are told, he judges you as warm, caring, submissive, and feminine. He seeks nurturing, comfort, and support from his ideal woman.

5. Builds And Feeds His Ego

Men like a woman who builds their self-confidence and boosts their ego. When you flatter his ego and boost his esteem, he feels more powerful in himself and projects that towards other men, seeking to be the alpha in the room and the best version of himself he can project. A man will notice the powerful effect a good woman has on his ego and masculinity when he is with her and will want to be around her to capitalise on that power.

If his female partner is noticeably hot property and other men covet her beauty and physique, his power will be amplified to a point. If the woman is ‘too hot’ or turns too many heads, the power trip can come crashing down with a brutal crash landing back into the fear of failure pool, and he will then project his fear of rejection or abandonment of him for another male with more than he has to offer out on the unsuspecting woman. The moral of this story is you need to be hot enough to turn heads but not so hot he fears losing you to every other guy who sets eyes on you.

6. Be The Hero

A good man genuinely wants to be your hero. He wants to make you happy, keep you safe, and protect you from the world and the hordes of horny men who might like to steal you out from under him, given a chance. He needs to feel like he can provide for you all the things you need across the board and that you won’t have to look elsewhere to find attention or love. A genuine man really does want to be the king to your queen. The key is to allow him to make you happy and meet your needs, to do things for you even if you can do them yourself. Good men like to be needed in an emotionally healthy and physically strong way.

Good men are attracted to smart and successful women. Good men find these women’s confidence highly attractive as a feature to conquer and tame. A woman who has these qualities is more likely to draw the interest of a man who loves a challenge and needs to be the all-conquering Tarzan capturing and taming his Jane. Alas, Jane can prove to be harder to tame than he anticipated, and few men will consider a woman they cannot control or tame as a long-term partner. The truth is what it is and there will always be exceptions to the general rule with any situation, and the individual man who is in complete disagreement with this article and never gives up until they win at all costs.

When men reject these women, it is not because of their confidence, self-respect and value, but rather he realises that he can’t match her, please her easily, provide for her in the way she needs him to provide, or make her happy long-term. Career women who invest more time into their work and ambitions fare the worst of all single women, and the double standard shows no signs of reversing in the future. 

Men don’t like to compete for your attention or time when they seek it out. If you are busy when they need you, they feel rejected. If they are busy when you need them, they are working their asses off to provide for you even though you don’t need them to and can provide for yourself. They tend not to like it when a woman doesn’t need them or need to rely on them fiscally to support and control her life.

The very thing that often makes a woman successful in her professional career is a dominant trait and streak shared with the man of interest. Two dominant alpha personalities in a relationship takes a very bespoke couple to pull off successfully long term as the competitiveness of both can be destructive, not strength-building in nature to the relationship.

7. Accept Him For Who He Is

He wants to be loved as he is, no matter what stupid things he says, does, or acts out. He wants a woman who will love him regardless, and he has zero interest in her trying to change him to make him a better man or a fitter version of the man she met and fell in love with. If you were attracted to him the way he was, and then you discovered things about him you feel he needs to change to suit you, then you are going to be told to hit the bricks … and rightly so.

8. Appreciation

What men most want in a woman is to be appreciated for the things they do. They receive great satisfaction in making you so happy that you gush genuine appreciation and reward them for that hard work with both a vocal and physical demonstration of your love and appreciation.

9. Not A Mind Reader

Most men like a woman who is clear about her thoughts and isn’t afraid to voice them. A woman who expresses what is on her mind and how she is feeling without the mind games removes the need for him to be psychic and develop mind-reading abilities. Too many misunderstandings come from women hoping that the man will magically know what she wants, what she is thinking, and why she is “fine” when she is clearly not fine and super “angry” in a passive-aggressive manner.

10. A Woman Who Can Be Herself

Good men love a genuinely authentic woman who can be herself without a shred of makeup and in her own skin. They shy away from women who wear fake masks and twist themselves out of shape, pretending to be someone they are not. He knows the authentic woman won’t change after they are committed because she is comfortable with who she is in her own skin and does not require validation from him or others to exist.

Men also like women who can spend time alone without them and not be on the phone demanding to know where they are, who they are with, and if they are cheating on them. The fastest way to get a partner to cheat on you is to keep accusing them of engaging in the behaviour.

11. Confident Aesthetics

A woman who is confident and comfortable in her own skin is beautiful regardless of her aesthetic beauty, shape, size, or hair colour. No one likes clingy, desperate, co-dependent, or insecure people of either sex. Women seeking a walking ATM or life support machine to do everything with and constantly validate them is a major turn-off for any man or woman. A secure woman with healthy self-esteem and rock-solid boundaries she will defend to the death can be an attractive and admirable trait good men who seek equals in their partners look for and marry quickly. Beauty, like art and wine, is subjective to the beholder. No two people will find the same qualities in a person desirable or attractive.

12. Playful And Spontaneous

Men love a woman who is playful and spontaneous. Men love to play and express themselves through physical action and touch. Instead of long talks on boring subjects he finds inane, do things with him – watch/play sports, mess around, tease, go for a hike wearing your latest lingerie and then find a secluded spot and show him how amazing it looks out in the open then have at him where he stands with a hunger that suggests the world is going to end in fifteen minutes! This uninhibited and frisky wild side full of unexpected surprises is a quality every man particularly loves in a woman.

13. Caring, Thoughtful, Loving

Everyone likes someone who is thoughtful. Being kind and thoughtful goes a long way to establishing trust, honesty, and respect. Men love a woman’s caring, nurturing, and thoughtful soft side. They seek a counterbalance to their strengths and a nurturing woman’s gentleness to soothe their pain and angst.

14. Genuine Smiles

Men love a woman who smiles naturally and often. Studies repeatedly show that a woman’s smile is one of the first things men notice about a woman. So, a smile is the best thing you can wear when you meet a man, other than perfume and your self-esteem. 

You appear more attractive and create a softer, memorable impression when you smile. It also signifies that you are a happy person who smiles at strangers. When you offer a stranger a smile, there is a good chance they will return the smile and then wonder why they did that. Smiles are contagious, and you give one and feel happy when you receive one.

15. Intelligence To A Point

It is a stereotype that all men only like a vapid blonde with two amoebic cells in their skull. They like that type of woman for a specific reason. For most men, that is not a characteristic they seek in a wife. Men enjoy intelligent conversation and intelligent women up to the point that intelligence is used against them or openly proves to be superior to theirs. That is the point at which their ego can self-destruct, and the relationship can turn toxic. An intelligent woman knows when to play dumb and inferior, and men love a woman who is smart enough to know when to shut her mouth.

16. Affection

Men are physical and love affection and touch. It is often how they express and demonstrate their love to a woman, and while they don’t say the words, their actions speak volumes when it comes to expressing that love using tactile affection. They are drawn to a woman who can freely give and receive affection. It is warm and welcoming. It will make a man feel wanted, needed, and desired and strengthen an emotional bond. If a man is going to talk and open up communication lines, it will be when he feels his emotional connection is strongest, and that will be with his woman wrapped in his arms, both soaking up the intimate affection.

17. Femininity

It goes without saying that men are attracted to women who are the opposite of them in the same way women are attracted to men for possessing the opposite characteristics to themselves. Men love a woman who expresses her feminine side. It makes them feel like a man when a woman needs them to help her, and they love the mysterious capriciousness of the elemental feminine energy. Being feminine is often misinterpreted as only being available to five-foot waif-like women with big doe eyes who appear to be a hot mess and need rescuing. However, femininity is the essence of amplifying everything it means to be a woman. Men easily prefer a soft sexy summer dress and low heels on a woman over sweats and sneakers. Femininity is a form of power and strength fuelled by a demure innocence. Being feminine in a man’s eyes is about willingly expressing vulnerability and perceived gentle submissiveness.

18. A Lady On The Street And A freak In The Sheets

There is no sugar coating on the truth here. Men love a woman who is a freak in the sheets and up for experimenting with all of the options openly, actively, and who is willingly wanton for them shamelessly when it comes to all things of a carnal nature. They do like a woman who will take charge in the bedroom. Who will teach them how to pleasure her instead of expecting them to magically know how to operate the most temperamental device ever placed upon the earth in the form of the clitoris and be hungry to learn how to please them, the way they loved to be pleased and pleasured. What they don’t like outside of the bedroom is a woman who takes her bedroom persona out into the public domain.  

Men like to peacock and showboat when they land that one-in-a-million lover with few boundaries and enough experience to rock their world. They will go out of their way to ensure their friends are envious and wish they had a woman like you for themselves. It is part of the male ego code. However, a good man will be coy and hint at but not reveal what you get up to in the safety of your bedroom with his friends. He wants them to be envious, and why wouldn’t he? You are his prize trophy to be flaunted and proudly displayed for all the world to see. A man who is still immature and has a lot of growing to do will tell all and disrespect this woman and himself. 

There is a line here and it is not blurry or indistinct. What is done in the bedroom is meant to remain between only those who were in the bedroom. If your partner wants your friends to know how well they perform in the bedroom and what they get up to, they would sleep directly with your friends and give them a first-hand demonstration. Never disrespect your lover or overstep your boundaries if you desire to keep your dream woman long-term.

One Question No Man Really Wants The Answer To And No Woman Wants To Answer Honestly 

We have all been there. You are in a committed relationship, and one party asks the question no woman likes to answer and no man really wants the answer to. “How many lovers have you had before me?”

This is a loaded question, and while honesty is often considered the best policy, being honest in this case can obliterate a man’s ego and cause a woman to feel instantly insecure in her ability to pleasure and please her man.

The rule of thumb is that women decrease the total number of past lovers to appear less promiscuous in a man’s eyes, and men raise their true number of lovers to appear more promiscuous and imply they have more sexual experience than they actually possess. (Again, with the double standards.)

Regardless of the number of prior lovers, they are just a number and of zero importance to your relationship with each other. No two genital organs are the same to look at or operate. Past experience serves as a guide, and only time spent exploring your partner’s body and discovering your mutual likes and dislikes will make you both amazing lovers.

Men love a woman who knows when to take charge and when to be submissive. When to talk and when to keep her mouth closed. They love a woman who is easygoing and loves life, smiling often, and who is open to exploring life and the world in a physical, tactile manner, all the while showering him in adoration and appreciation that is genuine, not faked. They desire to be proud of you, to show you to the world and their friends, and the good ones, the mature ones, look forward to sharing the rest of their life with you!